Saturday, 18 November 2017

Unrequited Love

Hi and hello

Greeting, earthlings. Well, as for this morning which wifi is so at super speed, i had taken my step to make an entry but as usual i don't know what should i write so I thought that maybe I should write about what happen to me at the moment. According to title, i guess all of know what happen right.

Falling in love is not our choice. Sometimes, it just happened that way. Fall for someone at the first sight, fall for someone that being nice to you. That is something that we cannot control. Even me, fall for someone that's really nice, gentleman and very cute. But unluckily for me, i think that i have taken the wrong step. I like him the way he is. The way he talks, the way his hair were done and of course the way he smile.

I confessed.
What a big mistake that I've done. I thought that when I told him my feeling, then I could get away from it. I could be free. I could feel satisfied. I was wrong. It hurts more when he didn't say what you really want. What you hope is not what you get. An unrequited love is something that can be terrible sometime.It become more worse when you can't even play badminton together with him. That's what happened to me. I was playing badminton, and then he came then suddenly he became my partner and there it goes. My mind went blank and I didn't know what to do, what to react and in the end, I stopped the game and pretending I wanna go to the toilet. Then, I thought how stupid I was.

I don't know what he thinks of me and I really wanna know. Do you know how much I miss how I can see he smile. The way he speaks to me. The way he came and ask me is everything okay when everyone just don't really care. The way he ask me, where I usually eat. I just miss all of that.

Well, that is all about. My heart, my feeling, my thought. I know it can be really hurt sometimes, but there's something that makes you wanna stay. I just don't know.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Short Girl


Being a short girl is not a bad thing actually. Well, i know it because 'AKU PUN PENDEK JUGAK'. My height is 143cm which lebih kurang 4'6'' which actually very short i think. Everywhere I go, I'll be the shortest one. Shortest in my class, shortest in the gang, everywhere unless there's a kid there but sometimes even a 12 years old kid is higher than me. Just imagine I'm 20 and that kid was only 12 but when I look at her I have to look up. When I say shortest, of course my two younger sisters are higher than me. It's not what's wrong with me since I'm the eldest but I'm the shortest, maybe it's genetic. When I was in school, since primary school or should I say since kindergarten, I did not participate in any kind of sports. Both of my sisters were school athlete. Lompat jauh, pecut, beratus-ratus meter apa ntah, just give it to them. Masa middle school pun, I was active in kawad kaki only. Maybe that's why they're higher than me apart from those genetic ke apa ntah.

When I say it's not a bad thing actually being short, yes it is. I know, there's a lot of short girl yang rasa insecure but trust me, being short is a gift.

1. Always look younger than anyone else. 
When I go to an event or whatsoever with my family, people will think I adik, and my adik is my kakak. See, people also still think I'm a school student. Strangers always ask me "Adik ni tingkatan berapa?".

2. Get more attention.
When I was in school, I usually go to a lot of camp. So, masa kat kem, jurulatih will always notice me. They will be like 'pendeknya budak tu'. Masa jungle trekking, trainers will say to my friend to keep an eye on me, takut hilang nanti.

3. Always in front.
Taking pictures, line up in the assembly, line up before class, I will always at the front.

4. Every boy is taller than you.
I don't remember seeing someone at my age that was shorter than me. So, maybe you'll never have a boyfriend that is shorter than you and have a taller boyfriend is super cute.

Still, there's something that you have to let go for being short. For example, you can never be a pilot or a police if your height is hundred and four something like me. Sometimes, there's clothes that you can't simply wear. I can't just buy any palazo that I like because most of them are too long for me. I just wish that there's a special boutique for short people.

Whatever it is, don't forget to say Alhamdulillah. Allah know what's best for us. Being short is cute and it's not a super big problem. You just have to love yourself and be thankful and your life will be much better. You are beautiful the way you are. Short is cute and I'm cute. hehehe.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

CSR in Satun, Thailand


On 18/03/2017, me and my friends and a few of FiST student yang pada masa tu sebenarnya dah tamat pengajian di Kolej Mara Kuala Nerang had joined a CSR. Pehal skema do ayat. CSR ni under kolej. We went to Satun, Thailand.

First tu, I really wanna go but they said it's only for CSR club and they had opened it to other students as well but I'm too late and masa tu dah penuh. I was like 'Okay, maybe bukan rezeki aku nak pergi'. Khairin (my best friend), was the ajk of that club so kiranya dia pergilah. Kalau dah namanya rezeki, one day aku tengah makan-makan and suddenly Khairin cakap 'Weyh, cepat bukak group cepat'. Aku pun kalut gila bukak group. Tengok-tengok ada sorang student ni, she can't go and she wanna find someone to replace her. Aku apa lagi, cepat-cepat PM.

Takdir dah membawa aku untuk satu bas dengan crush. Enough of the nonsense. We went there by bus. Well, I can't exactly remember what time we're leaving but if I'm not mistaken at 9 or 10 like that. It takes about two hours to arrive at the boarder and that time ramainya Ya Rabbi. We're standing at the boarder line just to cop that passport punya la lama and I think for one step takes about an hour. Masa tu dah pukul 12 tengah hari dengan beg bagai lagi. Dengan muka tangan burn tapi nasib crush kat depan kan so tak rasa panas sangat la. hahahahahahaha. Disebabkan lama sangat menunggu, pengarah collect all of our passport and I don't know how, and we just passed through the boarder and went to the transport yang tunggu kitaorang.

At last, we arrived at Kampung Pasir Panjang, Satun, Thailand. It's so beautiful. Clean and beautiful. Villagers sambut dengan kenduri bagai and of course the food there is  so delicious nasib aku ni tau malu je kalau muka tembok dah lama aku tambah berkali-kali. Not to mention, aku ni spesis kuat makan tapi badan kecik. Then, we're divided to a few groups and each group had their own family angkat. Luckily for me, me and Khairin were in one group. Yay. and the other two was Amira and Nazu. We're the anak angkat tok imam of that kampung. Jangan memain kau.

Matrik students and I forgot their name. Sorry xD
Me and Khairin

This is when we waited in the masjid. Solat and so on before they asingkan kitaorang.

This was the first day after we got our family angkat, we went to explore the kampung. Mak and ayah asked us to use the motorcycle but since it's four of us so we thought we just walked. Sorry for the blur picture. I had problem with my lens. The auto focus is broken so I just used the manual focus but since it's someone else who took the pic so it became that way.


This was our first night at Thailand. We just discussed what to do, who's in charge for cat masjid and who's in charge to teach budak-budak and so on.

Pemandangan dia cantik gila. Khairin yang bawak motor bawak aku kat sini.  

Azab gila aku nak jalan atas kayu-kayu tu. After a few moments of pujuk memujuk aku pun jalan ke tengah sikit.

This is the second night. Ada majlis sikit malam tu. Ada persembahan but we went a bit late sebab aku makan banyak gila masa kat rumah. Like memang banyak gila-gila sampai tak muat perut aku.

Boys kena buat persembahan and they sang Sebiru Hari Ini by Edcoustic.
Our family

This was the last day which was the third day in Thailand. Sedih tu jangan cakap la. Memang sedih.

Me with ayah and mak. It was so hard to say goodbye. They were very kind and lovely to us. We're very glad to know them and be their anak angkat even just for three days.

After we said our goodbye, we went to University of Songkla. Nothing much but we got a lot of knowledge. Basically, it's all about medical and I'm not really that interested in that kind of stuff. They went there maybe because wanna give motivation to the SPC student I think (medic student). But it's my first time of course seeing corpses everywhere. Manusia yang diawet dalam balang kaca. I thought I was in other planet or something. Rasa macam tengok alien. It was kinda funny but scary at the same time. You can see real brain, real organ and everything is real. That place is really not for me. Ughh.

Bertolak balik Malaysia pun dah petang dah. We arrived at 9 pm i guess. Well, that's my story about my last memories with KMKN, with my friend, with my Ichigo. It's very enjoyable, fun and I get to know many things. Not all people are lucky so we should be thankful with our perfect life. Help people, make them happy. It's for our akhirat jugak kan. Apa salahnya.

Tuesday, 25 July 2017

The Only Girl

Assalamualaikum and hi.
Last month, aku ada technical training which was my last semester as a foundation student. Kinda like practical jugak tapi tak buat dekat Kolej Mara Kuala Nerang tapi buat dekat UniKL yang students tu isi for their degree lah. As for me, i choose UniKL MSI sebab aku memang nak sambung in Mechanical Automotive. Dengan excitednya aku isi masa tu hoping that I will get the offer from MSI.
Luckily, I got it. Tapi malang tidak berbau seperti yang dikatakan pepatah melayu, I was the only girl. Masa tu entah la nak react macam mana pun tak tau. I was happy sebab I got what I want but at the same time serabut memikirkan what will happen to me.
Frankly speaking, aku menangis kut sebab kalau boleh aku tak mau lah jadi the only girl. Total semua ada 12 orang dan aku satu-satunya yang berlainan jantina. But I have to go lah sebab kalah tak aku tak boleh grad dari foundation. Dengan hati yang berat dan luluh, aku pun pergilah technical training tu selama sebulan di UniKL MSI, KULIM.
At first tu, awkward gila la. I do it all alone. Makan, pergi kelas even nak cakap pun aku cakap sorang-sorang dalam bilik. Tapi nasib baik lah, senior-senior kat sana baik dan banyak sangat tolong aku. Ada yang bawak aku jalan-jalan, pergi makan-makan and even explain kat aku what exactly mechanical automotive is. I was really really touched. But still, aku jadi orang yang pendiam gila sebulan tu sedangkan aku orangnya otak masuk air.
Masuk second week tu, aku dah terbiasa dah. Then rasa macam best la pulak. Ya lah kan, lecturer pun kenal aku and ramai yang ambik berat. Dalam kelas pun, classmates banyak tolong aku itu ini so aku rasa being the only girl bukannya teruk pun. Cuma kena pandai bawak diri dan buat muka innocent.
Aku sangat amazed dengan diri aku sebab sepanjang sebulan tu aku survive dengan jayanya.
Moral of the story, lalui dulu benda tu then only you'll know it.

Monday, 24 July 2017

Shory Video

That is the link to my first ever short video. I did say i didn't want to do it but then this morning I end up uploading on youtube.

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Video Editing


It has been a while. Well, i'm on my holiday now so i guess i will have time in writing my blog. Now, i'm more focusing on video editing. When i was at school or in college, i did a few editing la. Sebab masa tu ada homework or assignment yang related dengan video making, short drama and so on lah. So aku terpanggil untuk edit video tu since aku memang suka dengan benda alah ni semua.

Since I don't have anything to do for a few month, I'd played with Adobe Premiere and I love it of course. Before this I did my editing with Movie Maker and Sony Vegas Pro but now I think I'm gonna stick with Adobe Premiere Pro. Lagi senang dari Vegas Pro kut. Pendapat aku la since aku ni tak adalah terer mana sangat dalam editing ni.

Tadi aku try a few tricks by myself, and I DID IT. Aku pernah jugak terfikir nak buat vlog but I'm not really the type yang boleh bercakap or that kind of makhluk yang bercakap pandai.  Well, aku okay ja in talking actually but I don't know what I should talk about. Dan kemudiannya aku simpan dalam-dalam je lah niat aku tu nak jadi vlogger.

Friday, 7 April 2017

Blogging #3


Well, it has been a while since I didn't log in to this account and it has been a few years that I didn't post a thing to this blog. Ayee, since I have been reborn ok no.. since I have finished my study so I think that I will have a plenty of time SO I can update this blog frequently. I have a few month before continuing my study in Bachelor of Mechanical (Automotive) in UniKL MSI.

I have in love in Puisi. Sejak bila pun entah la. But what I know is aku rasa puisi dapat sampaikan sesuatu benda dengan lebih mendalam compared to kalau sampaikan dengan ayat bahasa melayu baku yang biasa mahupun menggunakan ayat bahasa melayu biasa dengan dialek negeri masing-masing ataupun bahasa inggeris dengan pelbagai accent.

So, maybe we'll start again. I'll write what I wanna write, do whatever that I wanna do and maybe I'll post a few of my Puisi that I have written. Perhaps.